Mixed Emotions

Today I'm going to my Aunt's house for Christmas Eve dinner. It should be a full house, lots of family and friends, laughter and love. But I can't help but think of last Christmas, I had just lost the twins seven days before and I hated that my situation had brought further grief to my family. This is the second Christmas without my Mom. This is the second Christmas without my boys. This is the first Christmas without my Dad. So much loss to bear and yet life goes on. I hope and pray that in 2011 that this baby is happy and healthy and we are enjoying his/her first Christmas.