In October 1988, President Reagan proclaimed October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. “When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan. When a spouse loses their partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn’t a word to describe them. This month recognizes the loss so many parents experience across the United States and around the world. It is also meant to inform and provide resources for parents who have lost children due to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, stillbirths, birth defects, SIDS, and other causes.”
On December 17, 2009, at 19 weeks pregnant I went into premature labor and my twin boys were stillborn. For months, I didn't know which way was up or down, left or right. Most days I had to will
myself out of bed, I was tired mentally and physically, and I forgot to eat. I was in a major depression. I read books about grief and read thousands blogs of grieving mothers. The stories and the circumstances vary, yet the grief is the same. Each of these babies was desperately desired and will be deeply loved and missed forever. The grief of a parent having to say goodbye to their child is incomprehensible. The pain mars our hearts forever and life is never the same.
Elizabeth Edwards once said: “If you know someone who has lost a child…and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died, they didn't forget they died. You're not reminding them. What you're reminding them of is that you remember that they lived."
Please remember that grand gestures are not needed when someone you know has had a miscarriage or lost an infant. There is no greater gift you can give than remembering their baby.
Mom to Serena, and angel babies Ryan, & Dylan
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