Anniversary Date Looming

It's really hard not to think back to where I was on this day last year. I was enjoying my pregnancy, and looking forward to all the Christmas festivities but little did I know that tragedy was just around the corner. I'm trying to hold onto the hope instead of dwelling in the loss. I have hope in my heart right now that this IVF will work. All I want for Christmas is a BFP and a multiplying Beta!!!

IVF - Transfer

I had 2 eight cell blastocysts transferred today! They're going to let the remaining blasts continue to mature thru Monday (day 5) then freeze them. There is a chance some blasts won't make it to day 5 but Dr. F was encouraged by their quality to take the chance. The cool thing is during the transfer you actually get to watch what they are doing on a flat screen TV! It was uncomfortable but painless, similar to a pap smear. Now the dreaded two week wait begins! The earliest day that I could go in for a blood test I'll be out of town, so I will have to wait until the 20th to get my blood test. Of course, I will take a few home pregnancy tests while I'm out of town ;-) You don't think I could wait until then did you?

IVF - 2nd Retrieval Results

The results...9 eggs were retrieved, 7 eggs fertilized, but only 5 matured. They'll call me tomorrow with another status. The numbers are still abnormally low. Anyways, I decided to take a gamble and right before the egg retrieval, I asked Dr. F if I was clear to do a transfer, and she gave the o.k! If I decide to do a fresh transfer it would be either on Saturday or Monday, depending on the results. Or I can still freeze them, but fresh transfers are better then frozen ones, so I'm leaning towards doing a fresh transfer and just see how it goes. If I don't get pregnant then I can consider pursuing surrogacy or not.

Like the first retrieval, my grandma drove me to and from. I love how my 85 year old grandmother is the one accompanying me to a fertility center! I told her I bet she never dreamt she'd be taking her unwed granddaughter to a fertility center! Um, no. Seriously, she's such a trooper. While she may not agree with my choices, she's always been there for me and has supported my decisions, and it is so awesome to be sharing this experience with her. I just love her dearly.

Giuliana & Bill

Are you watching their show? Well, you gotta CHECK IT OUT because they go to the same IVF center that I do! We see different doctors and unfortunately I've never run into them when they are there, but I suspect they go when the office is closed. I admire them so much for speaking about their struggles of infertility, and while it is heart wrenching to watch, it makes me feel not so alone in my struggle.

Egg Retrieval #2

Well, sometime in the next couple of days I'll be having the second egg retrieval. Things are moving along, I'm responding to the medication protocol, and I'm now going in EVERY morning for blood work and ultrasound. I'll keep doing this schedule until they deem me ready. I'm giving myself 3 injections every evening, and in turn my stomach is bruised and swollen. I could also inject the medication in my thighs, but then I can't wear a swimsuit! LOL
Anyway, I'm not fun to be around these days as I have a constant headache and I'm extremely tired. It's hard for me to articulate what I'm feeling right now with my hormones so completely out of control at this point. I will say that I feel like I'm bit by bit moving forward with my life. I'm not sure how all this will turn out, but I'm just trying to take things one day at a time.